When you think about it, I'm like a 45. Liz is my A side, the song everybody knows, and Gabe is my B side - not played as often but just as good.
There really was beautiful music here.
Gabriel Joseph Williams struggles with talking to people. Every conversation and interaction brings about anxiety and frustration, and most at school know him to be quiet and reserved. Very unlike his best friend since kindergarten, the very popular Paige. But after hiding all day at school, he comes alive at night on his new radio show "Beautiful Music for Ugly Children", on the town's low-budget radio station. With a catalog and musical knowledge of everything and everyone from Flo-Rida and Jay-Z to The Rolling Stones and The Sex Pistols, the show is an instant hit and there's seemingly nothing standing between Gabe letting his personal coolness out in his everyday life.
Except for the fact that most of the world knows him as Elizabeth Mary Williams. And he is slowly but surely falling in love with his best friend. And his parents won't make eye contact with him anymore. And his little brother thinks he's a freak. And his only other best friend in the world is a 68 year old man who just may have one day been the most important DJ in America.
Kirstin Cronn-Mills handled the very serious moment of a young transgendered man growing into himself with so much grace and honesty in this book. I felt so much for Gabe. It's has been a long time since I've read a main character who I didn't want to smack. Gabe was not a selfish or pushy person, but he was determined and steady and actually very patient in willing those closest to him into respecting him AS a person. Gentle reminders to his parents when they'd purposefully call him "Liz", or refer to he and Paige as "The Girls".
My dad glances up. "How are you today...Elizabeth?""I'm Gabe. How are you?"
Moments where he's honest about what the cost of him being himself has brought onto his family,
Instead of storming out, which is my first impulse, I close my eyes and breathe because he's right; this is hard on them. I may be young and stupid, like he said, but they're confused and hurt. Because of me.
And also sad and lonely moments where the vulnerability of knowing that perhaps nowhere is safe,
She'll tell me to go to the police, because she believes in law and order. I, on the other hand, believe the police won't care about someone like me.
The friendship between Gabe and John, his beloved mentor and next door neighbor had that Doc Brown and Marty McFly-ness that was familiar and instantly loveable. Their mutual love and respect for the safety and passion that they both found in music was absolutely palpable. And on the subject of music, while this book did remind me of quite a few others, "This Song Will Save Your Life" for example, it was really awesome to see multiple genres overlapped without some jarring explanation, as many books seem to do. For playlists that spanned from Prince to Souljah Boy and back to Elvis, it never felt weird or contrived.
The subject of Gabe's "guyness" was also handled very honestly, even allowing itself to have the humor that sexuality just naturally has sometimes, to trickle in. Searching for ways to use a urinal. Choosing a loose enough shirt that doesn't show the chest binder underneath. It was a very vivid but not heavy-handed look at the worries and cares that Gabe has to live with every single day just to be, and how much those who don't have to live in bodies that don't agree with our minds, take for granted. There was much to be found here about identity's and people not always being who we expect them to be.
Both also very integral parts of the story were the Ugly Children's Brigade - a group of Gabe's radio fans who listen every night and act out the positive affirmation actions he proposes, and the Twin Cities Vibe Radio Contest - which could be the key to a life outside of this town, and a job. While both of these had some fantastical and YA cliche'd elements to them, neither were very "Fairytale" in execution, and readers of the "New Adult" genre will appreciate the author's aversion to wrapping either of them up with a neat bow.
The afterword also includes a pretty interesting note on sexuality and gender, as well as some information on where to go for support and information.
This book made me happy, and sad, and most importantly, aware.
I loved it.
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